Our Relationship with Time: Do We Own Our Time?

Everyone is given the same number of hours in a day. But not everyone owns their time.

Some trade it for grades. Some for money. Some for approval. And many, without knowing it, surrender it to systems, algorithms, or expectations they never chose for themselves.

We are often told to manage our time. I, too, would often tell my students to practice proper time management. But few are ever taught to question their relationship with it.

What if time is not something to manage, but something to reclaim?

The Illusion of Time Ownership

Most people give up their time in exchange for something else.

• A sense of safety

• A predictable path

• An external reward

• A momentary distraction

But the deeper risk is that we lose the ability to be with ourselves in silence. We outsource our time to things that keep us occupied, but not fulfilled.

We begin to confuse productivity with purpose. We answer notifications instead of questions. We fill the day so completely that nothing meaningful has space to emerge.

What We Exchange for Time

We often give up time in exchange for things we believe will offer security or validation.

• A sense of being on track

• Approval from others

• Predictability

• The comfort of doing what is expected

Sometimes we surrender time not out of pressure, but passivity. It slips away through distraction, through habit, through decisions we never quite made but somehow followed.

We are kept busy, but rarely asked: Does this matter to us?

Time, Attention, and Selfhood

Time is not just minutes and hours. It is attention.

Where attention goes, identity follows.

A distracted person may appear busy, but they remain disconnected. A focused person may do less, but live more fully.

This is why attention is the true unit of time. Not the calendar, not the schedule. A moment is only yours if your mind is present. Otherwise, it belongs to something else, usually something trying to sell you something or measure your output.

Rented Time and Owned Time

Rented time is shaped by others. It arrives with expectations, deadlines, and decisions already made.

Owned time begins with clarity. It is not always free from structure, but it is guided by intention. It includes moments of stillness. It allows us to focus on things that may not be urgent but are deeply important.

Owning time is not about withdrawal from the world. It is about stepping into the day with awareness rather than drift.

In a City That Measures Every Minute

In a place like Singapore, time is deeply structured. The trains run on schedule. Lessons start precisely. Days are productive, efficient, fast.

This brings many benefits, but also a hidden cost. When every minute is accounted for, there is often little room left for reflection, exploration, or simply doing nothing at all.

Efficiency is not the same as meaning. A full schedule is not the same as a full life.

Reclaiming the Day

Reclaiming time does not require quitting school or escaping responsibility. It begins with a shift in relationship.

Ask gently:

• What fills my calendar, and why?

• Who or what chooses how I spend today?

• When in the day do I feel most like myself?

• What have I not made time for, even though I know I should?

These questions are not meant to create guilt. They are meant to open space. Space to reflect. Space to re-centre. Space to live with more presence.

Final Thoughts

Freedom is not about owning things. It is about owning time. If you can wake up and decide how to spend your day, you are already wealthy in the truest sense.

A meaningful life is one where time is not only measured, but inhabited fully.

The most valuable gift is not more time, but the clarity to spend it well.